A big fat negative...

Today was the first day I thought I would be able to test to see if I am pregnant.  It is 11 days past when I should have ovulated.  I'm due for my period on Saturday so I'm still 3 days away from being late.  If you have not been in this position before, it takes ALL of the willpower in your being to not take pregnancy tests when you are in possession of them and think you might be pregnant.  I'm definitely feeling a little down this morning, but I know it's early so I'm trying to not let my hopes down yet.  Of course, as soon as I saw the negative my first thought was that this time around it's not going to be as easy as the last two.  I'm old and the fact that I'm in my 30s now is really driving me crazy and I just keep thinking it's going to effect things.  I have had two c-sections now and for some reason I keep thinking that it is going to also have negative effects on being able to get pregnant.  With number one I ovulated on the 9th and got my first positive on the 20th-11 days later!

 #2 was a different story, I just knew from the day on conception that I got pregnant.  DH thought I was crazy especially since we only decided 3 days before to start trying-there was no way it would happen that fast.  But, it did!  The one thing really giving me A LOT of hope (or at least something to hold on to right now) is that with #2 even though I swore I was pregnant at least a dozen pregnancy tests disagreed with me.  One of the last tests I took was a day after my period was due, it was negative.  I made a decision, since I had one test left, I would wait until I was almost a week late.  On that day I would call the doctor to see what was up, but of course before I would call I would take that last test.  I got pregnant with Jade on January 21th and I didn't get a positive pregnancy test until February 7th-17 days past ovulation.

  I am a little less than a week away from that now. Though, I really did think today would be the day I got a positive, I charged my camera last night in anticipation of take a pregnancy test picture this morening.   I will take the next test on Saturday the day I am due and hopefully we will go from there and this depressing entry will actually be the first in baby #3's pregnancy journey.